Ever have one of those moments when something just becomes REAL to you?
Like a song lyric you have heard a dozen times, that you can suddenly relate to? Or an experience that you overhear a person sharing, and for once, you can actually understand the feeling? Or perhaps a Bible verse that you've read thousands of times that suddenly just comes to life?
It has for me.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than
they?"
We have all heard it. Read it. Heard it preached on. But have we
lived it?
I've been a mess lately since moving out haha. It's like WOW now I get it Dad and Mom when you always said I had it so easy! Sheeesh! If it's not landlords, it's broken window blinds. If it's not car payments and battling with the electric company, it's arguing with work to convince them that YES I do need to continue working the same amount of hours and NO it's not okay if they just cut 20 every week! If it's not taking your car in for unexpected repairs, it's sending in your month old cell phone that has decided to stop working. If it's not becoming Ebeneezer Scrooge when it comes to gas money, it's worrying about getting the laundry cleaned, folded and put away..oh, and remembering to buy the detergent to do so.
IT'S ALOT. And it all loves to come right at the same ol' time!
But it's good... I am definitely learning. My stress however, is not. Not at all. In fact, I am pretty positive that once I learn to deal with it, I will be a much happier individual. But I think the reason I have been so stressed is because it's all so new, so much, and sooooo lighting fast. My life has literally flip-flopped overnight. It's hard. It's scary. It's lonely being a big girl. Sometimes, I think I was crazy to do it.
But hahaha this girl never took the easy or safe path. Ever. I don't know why I am surprised anymore at half the stuff I do.
But back to my point.
That verse is coming alive for me. I am living in the reality that I am needy, and the Father alone is going to supply my needs. I'm not kidding, friends. I am in a place (a beautiful one) of absolute, utter dependence on my God to supply all my needs. All my needs. I don't want to start my new life worrying and trying to figure out all these strategies and plans and such on my own. Heck no, I've tried that and FAILED MISERABLY. No. I am learning day after day that God alone is my Rock, my Provider, and the Lifter of my weary head. He provides for the freaking birds...he's certainly going to provide for me!!
Coming to that realization was a breakthrough. Sounds simple, I know. But until you live it, you won't understand. It's a choice. A choice to trust God. I have to wake up every morning and say out loud to myself in the mirror, "I CHOOSE to trust you today, Lord! I CHOOSE to claim your promises as TRUTH over my life today! I CHOOSE to believe you and take you at your word that You will supply ALL my needs according to the RICHES of your mercy!"
It's a choice to trust. You don't have to.
I certainly didn't. Or at least not like I do now. But God is just kind of awesome like that..he lovingly brings us to that place, and then we wonder why we ever tried to do it on our own.
And for that, I am so thankful.
