A Morning Prayer.

"Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law!

 

 Give me understanding and I will keep your law and obey it with ALL my heart.

 

Show me your ways, O Lord, and teach me your paths;

 

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in YOU all the day long.

 

Teach me what I cannot see."

 

 

Psalm 119:18, 34; 25:4-5

 

 

Coming to Life.

Ever have one of those moments when something just becomes REAL to you?
Like a song lyric you have heard a dozen times,  that you can suddenly relate to? Or an experience that you overhear a person sharing, and for once, you can actually understand the feeling? Or perhaps a Bible verse that you've read thousands of times  that suddenly just comes to life?

It has for me.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

We have all heard it. Read it. Heard it preached on. But have we lived it?

I've been a mess lately since moving out haha. It's like WOW now I get it Dad and Mom when you always said I had it so easy! Sheeesh! If it's not landlords, it's broken window blinds. If it's not car payments and battling with the electric company, it's arguing with work to convince them that YES I do need to continue working the same amount of hours and NO it's not okay if they just cut 20 every week! If it's not taking your car in for unexpected repairs, it's sending in your month old cell phone that has decided to stop working. If it's not becoming Ebeneezer Scrooge when it comes to gas money, it's worrying about getting the laundry cleaned, folded and put away..oh, and remembering to buy the detergent to do so.

IT'S ALOT. And it all loves to come right at the same ol' time!

But it's good... I am definitely learning. My stress however, is not. Not at all. In fact, I am pretty positive that once I learn to deal with it, I will be a much happier individual. But I think the reason I have been so stressed is because it's all so new, so much, and sooooo lighting fast. My life has literally flip-flopped overnight. It's hard. It's scary. It's lonely being a big girl. Sometimes, I think I was crazy to do it.

But hahaha this girl never took the easy or safe path. Ever. I don't know why I am surprised anymore at half the stuff I do.

But back to my point.

That verse is coming alive for me. I am living in the reality that I am needy, and the Father alone is going to supply my needs. I'm not kidding, friends. I am in a place (a beautiful one) of absolute, utter dependence on my God to supply all my needs. All my needs. I don't want to start my new life worrying and trying to figure out all these strategies and plans and such on my own. Heck no, I've tried that and FAILED MISERABLY. No. I am learning day after day that God alone is my Rock, my Provider, and the Lifter of my weary head. He provides for the freaking birds...he's certainly going to provide for me!!
Coming to that realization was a breakthrough. Sounds simple, I know. But until you live it, you won't understand. It's a choice. A choice to trust God. I have to wake up every morning and say out loud to myself in the mirror, "I CHOOSE to trust you today, Lord! I CHOOSE to claim your promises as TRUTH over my life today! I CHOOSE to believe you and take you at your word that You will supply ALL my needs according to the RICHES of your mercy!"

It's a choice to trust. You don't have to.

I certainly didn't. Or at least not like I do now. But God is just kind of awesome like that..he lovingly brings us to that place, and then we wonder why we ever tried to do it on our own.

And for that, I am so thankful.

Growing up and learning that life will always change--He never will.

Friends!
Well, it's been almost two full months since I have gotten on here. I swear I go through these phases where I am like "Oh my gosh, I am going to blog this and that and every day!" and then I go through phases of like, "Wow, my life is just ehh. Why do I want to even bother sharing about it?"
But at the end of the day I am reminded of the whole reason I write in the first place-- I want my life stories to bring glory to God and I want whatever I do to point back to that. This blog is about looking for the little pockets of sunshine all throughout our day-to-day lives and then looking up to the one who blesses us with that sunshine...something I am daily striving to do.

SO back to whatever it is I was going to write about when I got on here hahhaah.

Oh yeah... I have moved out! :)
Crazy? Yes. Extremely fast? Yes. Scary beyond all reason? Yes. SO MUCH FUN? Absolutely.

I am now calling a little Oceanfront condo in Virginia Beach 'Home'. I have a wonderful roommate who is just so much fun and who I know is going to be a wonderful friend in the coming months. We are in the greatest area! I can run in the mornings on the boardwalk, I can drive thirty seconds in either direction and be at a grocery store, at night when her and I get off work, we can walk around and look for little places to just go eat and have fun, and right now I am currently enjoying a steaming cup of Kona coffee (my favorite) at the Bad Ass Coffee Shop right behind our condo complex. Ahhhh! It's just so much fun. We have been here for about a week now, and yet even last night we were driving around and just saying to each other that it still feels kind of surreal. But we are beyond excited to be here. We both love the beach so much and we are very similar in alot of ways, so that has made figuring out what food to buy, where to go hang out, and how to decorate the condo very easy indeed lol. I am so blessed!

Moving out of my parent's home has been hard. Like really super duper hard. So many emotions and feelings that I never expected to encounter have been bombarding me. Me and my family all agreed that moving out was a good thing, yet still that initial sadness and just general panic is still there ahah. My first night on my own was so scary. My roommate was out for the night, so I was left to brave the first night in the condo on my own. It was quiet. I mean don't get me wrong, it's never really quiet with all the jets always flying overhead and the cars going here and there...but that 'Wow I am the only human being in this house' kind of quiet. It took me all of 3 minutes to discover that I hate being alone. But I remembered something my Mommy always said to me and I decided to follow her advice that night. 'When you are confused and just have no idea what to do and you feel like you don't know anything...stick to what you do know." So on that new, scary, and just generally lonely night, I stuck to what I did know. I pulled out my fiddle and just played my heart out for an hour right there in my living room. Then I turned on my Crooners music and cleaned everything haha. I am so like my mom--when I am stressed out or anxious, I clean lol. I took a shower, lit some candles, and then just read in my room. Little things that I do know. Things I have always done-- that brought me comfort and a little peace that night.
I am so happy for the new season I am in. Yeah, the first week has been rough. Hahha it didn't take me long to get to the point where I drove all the way home to Chesapeake and just plopped down in the middle of the kitchen floor at my parent's house and just sobbed to my mom while she made dinner. I literally did that. I was exhausted, freaking out, mad that grocery shopping is so expensive, missing my family like crazy, beyond excited to be setting out on my own, thrilled that I live at the beach, worrying about bills and work hours...
Yet I know Jesus was sitting on that floor with me. He knows. He knows the roller coaster of emotions that I am going through and all the feelings that are just always coming. I am ready to grow up. I am ready to set out on the great adventure that God has planned for me. I am ready to just experience life as an adult and learn along the way. Life is crazy and confusing and sometimes overwhelming...but my God is the same yesterday, today and forever!! He will never change. He is the same God today in my scary growing up years as he was in my care-free little girl years.  He's got me, and as long as I keep that truth in the forefront of my mind... I think I'm gonna be just fine :)

Yep, I get to see sunsets like this almost every night.

A verse that is really getting me through right now.

My first morning devotion view!!

 

The Hans-Mobile!

Soooooo YES!

After what feels like an eternity of not having a car... I finally got my own little ride :) I have been praying for the Lord to send me this little car for quite a long time now. It was the biggest motivator for me while going through nursing school... in moments of absolute frustration and discouragement, my mama would say, 'Hannah, just you wait. When you get that first pay check and are driving that sweet little car that is all YOUR own, you will be praising God that you pushed through!!'

Once again, Mommy knows ;)

I am so excited. It is the perfect littel car for me. So fun to drive! 'All hard work DOES lead to profit!'

Enjoy the pics! :-)

for freedom.

Freedom. It's such a beautiful word. A word with so much meaning. So much emotion. Lives have been sacrificed for it. Wars have been fought over it. Words have been proclaimed for it. Years upon hundreds of years...we as a human race have been striving for it.

Yet one question remains unanswered.

Are we living in it?


Yes friends. Freedom is already ours. The ultimate freedom. The day that Christ hung on that cross, and his blood ran down that wood, our freedom was being paid for. With every whip lash, every cry of anguish, every groan, every hot tear-- we were being ransomed. Redeemed. Set free.

I am ashamed to say this, but why do I not live in the result of my Savior's sacrifice? Living in freedom is so foreign to me. I obsess about schedules. I stress to the point where I cannot sleep at night. I go around moping for hours if my little world gets rocked. I punish myself mentally when I don't go to the gym and work out 7 days a week. I feel guilty when I'm not available to hang out with people 24/7. Guys, I am being real here. I am often so entangled in all my self-imposed chains, that I forget those chains don't even exist!

Anyone relating here?

The Word of God reminds us that it is indeed for FREEDOM that we were set free!! That freedom came at a high price, friends. The ultimate price. Let us not be guilty of forgetting it. Let is LIVE in the freedom we've been given. Don't for one second let that devil into your mind and tell you that you aren't a child of God. That you have to live in his bondage. That you aren't worthy to walk around with a smile on your face, the joy of your Lord radiating through your heart. Friends, we WERE in bondage. We WERE enslaved. We WERE living in darkness.

BUT NO MORE!

We are saints, we are heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven, we are loved, we are cherished by God...
and we are free.

At Last :)

Finally, after 8 months of talking, I finally met my soldier this week for the first time!! It was a wonderful week full of laughs, smiles, family time, and just finally spending time together. I have never been so happy. He is such a man of God--I am still blown away by his heart for others, his respect of me, his honesty, his love for his family, his dedication to laying down his life for our country overseas in Afghanistan, his smile, his care for me, and his love for His God. I have been blessed, and am so priviledged to know him.
He is only back for a short while, and is returning to Afgan on Tuesday. Please pray for him if you think of it. He gets back around September, then has to go back to Alaska. We are just gona keep trusting God and believing that all things are gonna work out according to His perfect timing!! The best is yet to come!

Enjoy the pictures :)

Virginia is for Lovers! :)

this was a sign in the airport! that's me in the "O" ahah

"For when you did awesome things that we did not expect,
you came down, and the mountains trembled before you.
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him!"
Isaiah 64: 3-4

God Is Good!!!

no pity parties.

So I don't know about any of ya'll, but when I am walking through deserts and seasons of wilderness, the last thing I feel like doing is being strong and not just 'making it through' but pressing on and picking up the pace. No, my flesh would rather me just curl up in a ball on the floor, cover my ears like when I was little, and wait for the thunderstorm to pass. But unfortunately, that's not how it works. Yes, there are times when we are just being carried. Yet there also comes a time when enough is enough. The Lord calls us up and out of our fears, our doubts, our worries--and calls us to 'demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.' No room for pity parties. No time for sitting around waiting for problems to dissapear. We have an ENEMY, friends. An enemy who's only intention and motive is to utterly destroy us and wipe us out.
Saten can't steal our salvation--but he can sure as heck steal our joy and make us ineffective in the Kingfom of God.

We must fight. Actively seek God. Be transformed by the remewing of our minds, that we may be clear headed and sober minded when our enemy comes to wage war on us. And believe me, he won't wait for an invitation.

I'm speaking to myself here. I've been in a wasteland for a couple years now-- a season of spiritual dryness, of doubt, of anger. It's a hard place to be in, friends. But God is working even in that. When we feel like nothing is happening, God is always up to something, and at the end of the day, His faithfulnesss will remain.

I'm going to cling to that truth today.